College education funding: Factors to consider for divorcing parents

News about parents being sued by their daughter for payment of college tuition recently circulated across various parental columns and forums. It has garnered types of following---parents and non-parents alike sharing their views, opinions, and experience related to the case.

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Child support payments stop when children reach the age of emancipation. In most states, that pertains to an age of 18 to 21 years. Accordingly, unless ordered by the courts, there is typically no legal obligation for parents to pay college tuition. Here are factors to consider in preparing for court rulings that may require divorcing parents to support college education:

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Talk about what makes good financial sense for the whole family. Discussing finances is one of the biggest challenges for most couples going through a divorce. Among factors to consider are capability of supporting college education, sources of college funds, college expenses coverage, and whether or not putting a cap on college expenses will be necessary.

Upon discussion, decide on addressing college expenses as part of the separation agreement. Talking points include percentage division of tuition between parents, provision of a separate college savings account, dedicating a joint asset for college funding. For some parents with insecure financial capabilities, committing to contribute to college education might not be part of the agreement.

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Plan ahead with the help of a professional. As points discussed on the separation agreement could be open for future discussion and scrutiny, ensure finality of agreements by involving experts in the matter. A financial planner, a college placement advisor, a third party professional divorce mediator, or an experienced divorce and family lawyer could be resource persons.

Paying for college education might not be required by some, if not most states, but providing for resolutions of such an issue as part of the divorce agreement helps a lot in ensuring the children’s welfare, and the divorcing parents’ amicable settlement.  

Atty. Maria Rivera Ortiz is experienced in issues surrounding divorce and family law. Learn more on how she can help divorcing parents with college funding issues here.

REPOST: Child Support: How Judges Decide the Amount

What are the considerations that judges use to determine the amount of child support a parent must make? Atty. Emily Doskow, a contributor to DivorceNet.com, summarizes the main points. Consult your attorney for more specific details.

Using State Guidelines

Every state has a formula for calculating child support, and judges use those formulas to determine how much child support will be paid in each case. The formulas themselves can be quite complicated, but it’s pretty easy to estimate what your child support might be by using free online calculators.  (Check for your own state’s calculator by entering your state’s name and “child support calculator” into a search engine, or use the simplified calculators at alllaw.com. ) 

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The biggest factor in calculating child support is how much the parents earn. Some states consider both parents’ income, but others consider only the income of the noncustodial parent. In most states, the percentage of time that each parent spends with the children is another important factor.

Most states consider at least some of these other factors in calculat­ing child support:

• child support or alimony either parent receives from a previous marriage
• whether either parent is paying child support or alimony from a previous marriage
• whether either parent is responsible for children from a previous (or subsequent) marriage
• which parent is paying for health insurance, and the cost
• which parent is paying day care costs, and the cost
• whether either parent is required to pay union dues or has other amounts deducted from paychecks
• ages of the children
• whether either parent receives irregular income such as bonuses or incentive pay, or expects severance pay or other lump-sum payments, and
• whether either parent lives with a new partner or spouse who contributes to household expenses.

Most courts believe that child support is more important than alimony and calculate child support first, and then evaluate what’s left in setting alimony. And states define “income” differently—some use gross income, some use net, and some include gifts, bonuses, and overtime while others do not. If a parent has significant investment income, it may be counted as income for purposes of calculating child support.

Setting Support Higher or Lower Than the Guidelines

If you think that the guidelines shouldn’t apply for some reason but your spouse doesn’t agree with you, you’ll have to tell it to the judge. Judges are allowed to deviate from the guidelines if there are good reasons.

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For example, if you’re the paying parent, you might argue that because you are paying for your kids’ private school and all of their uninsured medical expenses, the support payment should be less than the guideline amount. (But even if you’re providing some extras, the base amount of support has to be enough for the necessities.) Or if you have custody of a disabled child who requires extra care and has unusual medical expenses, you might think the support paid to you should be higher than the guideline amount.

Be prepared to show the judge documentation of your position. A budget showing all of your expenses relating to the kids will impress the judge with your attention to their needs and the seriousness of your position.

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Here are some circumstances that might cause a judge to set support above or below the guideline amount:

• The noncustodial parent can afford more. If the paying parent earns a great deal of money, has other significant assets, or receives in-kind compensation like employer-provided housing, the judge may order a higher-than-guideline payment.
• The guideline amount is more than what’s needed. If the non­custodial parent makes so much money that the guideline support amount would be much more than is needed to pay for the children’s regular expenses, the judge might reduce the amount.
• The paying parent can’t pay. If the noncustodial parent earns very little money, has other expenses that make it impossible to meet the guideline amount, or has recently lost a job, the court may order a lower support amount. The judge is also likely to order the parents to return to court at a set time so that the judge can review their current circumstances.
• A child has special needs or interests. A child with unusual medical, psychological, or educational needs may require a higher amount of support. Also, if your child is an avid musician or involved in sports or other activities, you can ask the judge to order the paying parent to pay an additional amount so that the child can continue a favorite activity.
• The paying parent is shirking. A parent’s earnings sometimes don’t reflect true earning potential—for example, say a parent is trained as a lawyer but works as a bookstore clerk. In that case, especially if the judge believes the parent is purposefully avoiding paying support by taking a low-paying job; a court might calculate support based on what the parent could be earning (that’s called imputing income).

Legal advice from dedicated specialists like the Law Offices of Maria Rivera Ortiz can assist divorcees in their queries surrounding child support. Visit this website for more on this and other divorce and family law issues.

REPOST: Rise in divorce in Iran linked to shift in status of women

In Islamic societies such as Iran, marriage is such a scared affair that its dissolution is considered taboo. However, the times are changing and many married women in the Middle eastern country have become more educated and more financially empowered, which gives them access to opportunities for individualism and consequently, the courage to file for divorce. Read the full story in the article below:  

An Iranian couple sit overlooking the city of Tehran, in this October 19, 2006

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(Reuters) - Weddings in Iran have long been an over-the-top affair with families spending thousands of dollars to celebrate a union. But now some couples are splurging on an entirely different sort of nuptial celebration: a divorce party.

Local media outlets and blogs have been abuzz for months about lavish parties, complete with sarcastic invitations and humorous cakes, for couples splitting up. The phenomenon has become so widespread in Tehran and other large cities that one prominent cleric said couples who throw these parties are “satanic”.
Still, the divorce parties are a sign of an undeniable trend: divorce in Iran is soaring. Since 2006, the rate of divorce has increased more than one a half times to the point where around 20 percent of marriages now end in divorce.

In the first two months of this Iranian calendar year (late March to late May) alone, more than 21,000 divorce cases were logged, according to official statistics.

The rise in the number of couples choosing to split up has angered conservatives in Iran who see the increase in divorce as an affront to the values of the Islamic Republic.

Last month, Mustafa Pour Mohammadi, the current justice minister who is also a cleric, said that having 14 million divorce cases within the judiciary is “not befitting of an Islamic system,” according to the Iranian Students News Agency.

Some of the causes for divorce in Iran, like many other countries, include economic problems, adultery, drug addiction or physical abuse. But the increase in the divorce rate points to a more fundamental shift in Iranian society, experts say.

“There has been a big growth in individualism in Iran, especially among women. Women are more educated and have increased financial empowerment,” said Hamid Reza Jalaipour, a sociologist at Tehran University.
“It used to be that a woman would marry and she would just have to get along. Now if she’s not happy, she’ll separate. It’s not taboo,” he said.

DIVORCE PARTY

One 41-year-old woman, a chemistry graduate who is now head of public relations at a Tehran factory and who has a teenage daughter, said she divorced her husband because he was an abusive drug addict.
It took four years to deal with the government bureaucracy. "They don’t like divorce to come from the side of women," she told Reuters, asking that her name not be used. But in the year since the divorce "I’ve been in heaven".

While she was married, an aunt had told her not to wash the dishes at a certain time in case it gave her husband a headache.

"I said to hell with the headache, why doesn’t he get up and do the dishes himself?"

She had never been to one of Tehran's notorious divorce parties, but added: "The day that I got my divorce finalised I invited some friends over to celebrate too."

The marriage law in Iran traditionally favors the husband, who has the right to ask for a divorce. But in most cases being brought to court now, the husband and wife have generally come to a mutual agreement to separate, Iranian lawyers say.

In the cases where the husband is unwilling to divorce, the wife must legally prove that the husband is abusive, has psychological problems or is somehow unable to uphold his marriage responsibilities in order to separate.

GOLD COINS

Alternately, the wife could push for the payment of her mehrieh, or dowry, if it was not paid when the couple married. Dowries in Iran, usually in the form of gold coins, have skyrocketed in recent years with families sometimes paying tens of thousands of dollars.

If the husband is not able to pay the dowry, the wife could waive some or all of it as part of a separation settlement. In some cases, the husband can go to jail if he cannot pay the dowry.

“In the past two years the issue of divorce in Iran has reached unprecedented levels,” said Mohsen Mohammadi, the head of the Yasa law group in Tehran.

“We didn’t even have an interest in family and divorce law. But because of the large number of requests it made sense for us to get into this. The legal side of family and divorce has become a big business in Iran.”

And it does not appear that the broader trend partly driving the rise in divorce, the greater number of women being educated and their larger presence in the work force, is going to change, experts say. For the current school year, 60 percent of enrolled university students are female, according to official records cited by the Islamic Republic News Agency.

When these women graduate, their first priority may not be to get married because they can now find jobs. And if they do get married, it will now be easier for them to leave a troubled marriage or to support themselves financially, experts say.

This is not only a trend among the top tier of Iranian society.

“We’re not talking about a middle class anymore or the northern Tehran elite. This is not the upper crust becomes Western and gets divorced,” said Kevan Harris, a sociologist and associate director at Princeton University's Center for Iran and Persian Gulf Studies.

“This is because of internal change in society. We balance the power of women through the kind of credentials and experience that they have. Because otherwise it can’t be so huge. If this were just happening in the upper crust you wouldn’t see these kinds of numbers.”

The rise in the divorce rate worries government officials in Iran because it comes as the birth rate is plunging.
Last year, parliament's social affairs committee proposed that $1.1 billion be dedicated to facilitating marriages but the motion did not pass in parliament. “If the representatives and officials are sympathetic to the youth of the country, it would be better if they approved these kinds of plans,” said the head of the committee, Abdul Reza Azizi, according to Mehr News.

A more controversial proposal has been to create a Ministry of Marriage and Divorce, which some officials have criticized on the grounds that a new ministry would create more bureaucracy rather than address the overall issue of rising divorce.

Whatever the government does, it will be hard to change a new tolerance for divorce.

“It’s not because somebody asks ‘Please, I want to get divorced’ and you convince a conservative society that divorce is ok. That’s not the way it works,” said Harris. “People have to do it. And the other side can’t take it back.”


Maria Rivera-Ortiz is an experienced divorce and family law attorney, having worked with families for over 20 years. Learn more about her storied career by visiting this website.

REPOST: Same-Sex Marriage Gets Easier But Same Sex Divorce Is Not So Easy

Divorce for heterosexual couples can be complicated and costly, but the process can be even more challenging and difficult for same-sex unions. Just how out of sync are current divorce laws with same-sex marriages? Read the article below to find out.  

 

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On Monday, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to allow a lower court ruling that permits same-sex marriage in five states. The Court, however, did not offer any explanation or briefings for their support of the lower court’s ruling to permit same-sex marriages in Indiana, Oklahoma, Virginia, Wisconsin and Utah. As popular as gay marriage is becoming, statistics are revealing that, similar to conventional marriage, same-sex marriages sometimes fail and end in divorce. Although conventional marriage and divorce are relatively easy in the legal sense, same-sex marriages are not so easy to dissolve.

Bureaus of vital statistics and other public records show that same-sex couples who desired to tie the legal knot have had to resort to traveling to states that recognize such unions. Once legally married, the newlyweds returned to their home state to live as married spouses. However, for the unfortunate couples whose marriages fail and the decision to divorce is made, the process in many instances is working against them. For couples living in a state that does not recognize gay marriage, divorce is not an option in their home state because it does not recognize the marriage. Without a marriage, there can be no divorce, hence the problem.

Many states like New York State that recognize same-sex marriage have divorce laws with residency requirements. In order for a gay couple to divorce in New York State, they must satisfy that state’s residency requirement. For a divorce to be granted in New York State, the least stringent of all residency requirements is that one party must have lived in New York for a minimum of one year prior to filing. Many same-sex marriage states have similar residency requirements, thus creating extreme hardships for divorce-seeking same-sex couples who live in a no-gay-marriage state.

There are also problematic social issues confronting same-sex married couples who no longer share the same marital bliss that initially united them. Complicating the difficulties in getting a same-sex divorce is the fact that if the existing law prevents their divorce, then dating someone outside the marriage is still cheating, and marrying again without divorcing is still bigamy.

Spouses in these marriages seeking to get a divorce are left with only a few not so easy options; namely one or both parties must move to a state that recognizes their same-sex marriage and then satisfy that state’s residency requirement; attempt to get the marriage annulled; or lock horns in what would likely be a long and expensive legal battle.

For same-sex couples with children, the situation becomes exponentially more complex. Due to inadequate or non-existent legal precedent and the 10th Amendment’s constitutional guarantee for the 50 states and the District of Columbia to enact their own laws, deciding child custody for same-sex parents pursuing divorce can be even more heart-breaking than in conventional divorce. When both spouses are the biological parents of different children, the resulting breakup extends to the children and could create a situation where brothers and sisters may never see each other again.

Legal experts believe that the U.S. Supreme Court’s non-decision on Monday will pave the way and make it easier for the remaining 20 states to legalize same-sex marriage. However, published reports on the subject also point out that the legalization of same-sex marriage creates an entirely new set of problems making the process of getting divorced not so easy.

Maria Rivera-Ortiz is a divorce attorney who helps parties deal with the emotional and relational aspects of divorce and assists them in working out agreements that are fair and best suited for their needs and unique situation. Seek Atty. Rivera-Ortiz’s counsel through this website.

REPOST: 17 Ways Divorce Changes You For The Better

There are numerous accounts of how difficult and stressful the divorce process is. But this Huffington Post article enumerates 17 ways divorce had a positive impact on some individuals. 

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The divorce process gets a bad rap -- and understandably so. It zaps your energy, makes you question your decision to get married in the first place, and leaves you wanting to curl up in the fetal position on most nights.

The silver lining to it all? If you're willing to brave the process, you usually come out the other end stronger and more self-possessed than you'd been during those final months of your marriage.

HuffPost Divorce readers will tell you just as much. Below, they share the one way divorce changed them for the better. See what they had to say, then head to the comments and share with us one positive effect divorce had on you.

1. "It truly forced me to stop being someone I'm not in order to make someone else happy. Because of divorce, I'm now focused on just being the best version of me I can be."

2. "I learned that my happiness IS important and that taking care of yourself is not selfish, it's essential."

 3. "Divorce made me more assertive in my current relationships -- not just marital, but with family and friends as well. Once I crossed the line of 'its my life, and I don't have to put up with this crap if I don't want to,' there was no turning back. It was a complete liberation. Hallelujah!"

4. "I've learned that I, alone, am enough."

5. "It gave me the strength to know that rejection wouldn't kill me, despite what I had previously thought. I also learned that failure is only a temporary thing and not something to be afraid of."

6. "I now recognize that there's no room in my life for that kind of pain anymore. I no longer need to explain myself to my ex-husband. It's peaceful. Life after divorce is what you make of it."

7. "I learned a lot, but here's just one thing: That you can only be responsible for your own happiness, and that it's not your job to be accountable for someone else's. Happiness can only be determined by oneself. If someone expects you to provide happiness for them or you expect someone to give 'happiness' to you, it won't be enough. Sadly, if a person can't find happiness in themselves, they'll probably never find it."

8. "I'm more aware of what I want out of life and how a partner would fit into that, rather than how I fit around a partner."

9. "The verbal filter I used to have is completely gone. I say whatever I need to say."

10. "I'm happier and have less anxiety since my divorce. I also have lower expectations of people around me. I focus my energy on those that have been there for me instead of trying to hang on to people that don't have a true interest in me or my kids. I've definitely learned that people will believe what they want to believe and I don't need to try to convince them otherwise. The truth has a way of coming through, sometimes it just takes a while."

11. "Divorce has made me a more confident, wiser, empathetic and empowered person, and a much better communicator."

12. "Because of my divorce, I know that I'm fully capable of living alone. I'm so much happier and better off without the drama and abuse."

13. "It changed my thinking about marriage. I'm not sure that I'll ever get married again."

14. "Divorce taught me that I can fix, repair, install and put back together just about any appliance or piece of furniture in my home. But more importantly, it taught me that being single doesn't necessarily mean lonely."

15. "I always give people an opportunity to be honest and speak their mind. I never want to be blindsided again."

16. "I learned what I will and won't accept from those in my life. I never allow myself to be treated like I'm not important again."

17. "I don't live in fear any more. That fear left the building when he did. I can vouch for this: Living fearlessly is an awesome and freeing feeling."  

Attorney Maria Rivera Ortiz helps clients understand and adjust to the difficulties that the divorce process may bring. Find out more about how the seasoned family law practitioner can help you proceed with your case here.

Arranging child support without the drama

Discussing child matters is one of the most contentious issues in a divorce and also one of the causes of prolonged legal battles between estranged spouses long after the divorce has been finalized.

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Child support matters are particularly troublesome since they involve money. Failure to pay child support is a common and sad reality in an economically challenging time, made more tragic by the fact that many single parents often face financial crunches.

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Bitter arguments over child support and other matters fracture families all the more, particularly if the children become too involved in their parents’ conflict. Children might take sides in the debate, and be turned against one parent. While parents granted sole custody of a child should fight for their right to receive child support, they should always do so in a way that does not psychologically or emotionally stress out the children.

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 As much as possible, parents should cooperatively plan the details of child support during the divorce and achieve the balance amicably. Likewise, visiting and rights should be respected as much as possible. Studies show that former partners are more likely to keep up with child support if they are allowed to see their children.

 
Seeking legal counsel in any matter surrounding child support is important. Expert legal advice can help divorced parents seek the best solutions both for themselves and their children.  

Maria Rivera Ortiz, a divorce attorney based in Worcester Massachussetts, helps divorced parents settle legal matters surrounding child support and child custody. Visit her practice’s websitefor more information on family and divorce law.

An important consideration in parenting plans: The “best interests of the child” standard

As a general rule, courts would not interfere in parenting. That is, parents are given the widest possible latitude in rearing their own children. The State, through the courts, would only have a say in this matter when contentious issues, requiring, ideally, an objective and a sound resolution, and usually brought up by the parents themselves, or the child or his or her representative, as the case may be, concerning such rearing would come about.

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Contentious issues on parenting invariably arise when spouses separate or get a divorce. One of these issues is the custody of the minor child or children, before or after separation or divorce.

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Parents could either mutually determine the arrangement they are most comfortable with given their situation or the circumstances surrounding the separation or divorce. Of course, this is the most encouraged route to avoid pointless tension on matters that can be threshed out and settled on, with the aid of an attorney. This would ensure that separation or divorce proceedings are not unduly prolonged to lessen impact on the child. An added advantage is an almost seamless transition by the child toward a life with separated or divorced parents.

At the core of all parenting plans, whether agreed to beforehand by the parties in proceedings or pleaded to be adjudged by the courts, would be the standard of the “best interests of the child.”

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What would be the custodial arrangement that would redound best to the interests of the child? Parents, being the ones privy to the internal structure of their family, unavoidably affected by the separation or divorce, must think long and hard about this. Otherwise, the decision would fall under the judge.

What are the factors that should be considered in upholding the “best interests of the child” standard? To the author, these should include, but should not be limited to, the following:

• The child’s preferences
• Protection of the child from abuse and domestic violence
• Health or physical condition of the child and parents
• Financial capability of the custodial parent
• Nature of employment of custodial parent in reference to presence in the prospective home or access to the child
• Prospective home with adequate facilities for the child’s growth and development
• Proximity of prospective home to the child’s present, or preferred, school
• Environment where the child could engage other children in friendship

Maria Rivera Ortiz is a divorce attorney who aims to assist parents in touching base with each other, in an amicable manner, as much as possible, to ascertain the best custodial or co-parenting arrangement that can be agreed on for the best interests of the child. Visit this website for more information about her practice.